T-Truth (and Tea) for [personal profile] sekitx2

Jan. 8th, 2008 06:02 pm
shadow: (Naru)
[personal profile] shadow
T - Truth (& tea), Naru x Mai, for [livejournal.com profile] sekitx2
Words: 3243 with an omake
Summary: A rambling and confused... non-confession confession?

Notes: details up to the end of Heiki.


Mai stood next to the window staring down at the streets below as she slowly sipped her cup of tea. Outside, the sky was heavy and grey, and rain drizzled down on the people below. Inside, the office was a cool 18C, but after working for a couple of years there, Mai was a bit more accustomed to the chilly office and always made sure to have a spare cardigan to wear just in case things got too cold for her.

She took another small sip of tea enjoying the light flavour of Darjeeling and its faint astringent undertones. It was a good compliment to the greyness outside and matched her own complicated feelings.

“I wonder if I really do...” she muttered to herself quietly as she watched the people below scurrying about trying to stay dry from the rain, “...about Naru......”

She closed her eyes as she felt the turmoil inside her; part of her knew her answer, while another part still didn't want to admit the truth.

“You wonder if you really do *what* about me?” Naru's voice suddenly asked from somewhere behind her.

Mai couldn't help shrieking slightly as she jumped in surprise. She turned her head sharply to see Naru gazing at her from just inside the reception area. Most likely he'd come out from his office seeking tea and had come further into the reception area when he didn't see her at her desk. Mai couldn't help shivering slightly at Naru's look; it was completely unreadable.

She shook her head slightly refusing to answer Naru's question and tried to smile. “Did you want some tea, Naru?” she asked as she set her cup down on the window sill. He'd taken her completely off-guard; her hands were shaking.

Naru said nothing as he silently padded over to where she stood. His expression was serious as he looked down at the girl before him.

Mai had been standing to one side of the windows virtually beside the wall as she looked down on the streets below, and with Naru now blocking her escape she not only felt, but was also literally, cornered by him. She stared up at him slightly wide-eyed. She wasn't exactly afraid but felt decidedly vulnerable. She hadn't felt so vulnerable in front of him since she'd confessed about her dreams and how she'd felt about him that summer in the moonlight by the lake.

Naru took another step closer.

“Mai,” he said quietly.

She felt her breath catch slightly when he spoke her name and couldn't help trembling slightly. He was so close that, if she reached out, she could easily touch him.

Naru's eyes narrowed slightly as he considered Mai's reaction to his closeness. He knew she found him attractive, but at the same time, she wasn't one to be blinded by appearances. He learned that when they'd first met and she saw through his fake smile at her school. He also remembered her painful confession by the lake that night when she confessed her feelings for him, yet not for him. When she learned the truth about who she'd been dreaming of almost since they first met.

He watched as Mai closed her eyes giving up trying to smile. She didn't shrink away from him, but her shoulders slumped slightly.

Mai opened her eyes again and looked up at Naru. They were clear, not teary as he'd been half afraid they'd be, but there was also definite uncertainty and a sense of vulnerability about her. The girl was one to act first and think about her actions later, and given how sensitive she was to danger, she usually protected herself from harm out of pure instinct. She'd lived on her own and had to manage alone for so long that it was rare for him to see her look so open to being hurt.

Mai gave him his awkward, troubled smiled. The one she used when she was in a difficult position but wouldn't run away. Or perhaps couldn't was more accurate this time.

“If I told you, it would only put you in an awkward situation, right?” she asked quietly.

Naru looked slightly surprised. Why would he end up in an awkward position because of how she felt...?

Mai couldn't help smiling wryly at the look of surprise on Naru's face. She knew he was pretty dense about personal relations, but... Mai sighed and steeled herself for the cold rejection she suspected was waiting for her.

“You really are dense sometimes; you do know that?” she said quietly then smiled sadly. “I'll admit, you put me through a lot of sleepless and teary nights thanks to what you said at the lake.”

Naru grimaced slightly. What he'd said had been quite stark but also made it clear that he and Gene were not the same person. And Mai had gotten the two of them very much mixed up – especially since Gene had been showing up in her dreams all the time without telling her who he was. Naru knew that girls always got him and Gene mixed up, and when they sorted the two of them out, invariably they preferred Gene and his sweet personality over Naru. It was quieter for him having them go to Gene. It meant he could concentrate on his work without distraction.

But that night hadn't been one of his better nights. He'd never told Mai about Gene, and Gene never told her he wasn't Naru. Mai had never suspected she'd been meeting a dead person in her dreams, so when Naru asked her which one she loved, much as he would anyone who *had* known they were two different people, her concept of the two had well and truly shattered apart. He'd never really cared about pushing away the other foolish girls who'd mixed him and Gene up, but Mai was different. She was a bit like Gene in the way she acted, the way she thought about things, and like Gene, she had a way of getting through his defences. More to the point, he didn't feel any particular need to push her away. However, he did assume that, like all the other girls, once she put all her memories and thoughts in order, she'd choose Gene over him.

Naru sighed. “How does your putting things in order for yourself put me in an awkward position?” he asked finally.

Mai gave him an even more troubled smile. Her expression was even more uncertain than before. “Do you realise how much thinking and sorting I had to do after that night? All of the good and bad memories had to be put in order that, at first, I thought all my feelings were for Gene and that all my memories of you were of the annoying boss who refused to explain anything, refused to tell me anything, and always made me feel like an idiot.”

Mai paused and looked directly at Naru. His expression hadn't changed, but there was a hint of something in his eyes that said he'd expected her to choose Gene and it made the next part all the more difficult. Because the truth made her all the more vulnerable and really did make things more difficult between them.

“But then I started thinking about everything all over again, from the very beginning. Yes, I met Gene at my school and he smiled for me, whereas you were the royal pain who presumed to use my first name without even knowing me. But then there was that time at the Morishita's. Gene said it first telling me that I was under the wrong impression about you dating Masako, and then you said the same thing. More to the point you didn't want me to have the wrong impression about things even though you couldn't explain what was going on then. But you tried to as much as you could then even though you didn't bother with Ayako. You didn't care if she had the wrong impression about things.”

Mai paused and her expression softened slightly as she remembered the next case they'd worked on. “Then there was Yuasa High. You asked me to keep your spoon-bending trick a secret from everyone – especially from Lin. You weren't arrogant about it, but were really straightforward and in an awkward situation. You didn't try hiding yourself then. And when I almost fell down the manhole... I never realised it then, but you used your PK to clear the rubble that should've been at the bottom of the manhole. Not only that, even though you were hurt, you did what you could to cheer me up down there with your 'pet'. And then, when that spirit showed up, you protected me from it even though it was after you. I felt like I was about to faint down there, but you still managed to give me enough strength to hold myself together.”

Mai looked away as she remembered the next case – the one at Yasuhara's school. “Ryokuryou High was probably one of the worst though. You wouldn't explain anything, you wouldn't tell me anything, and you didn't say anything to get my hopes up that you could do anything to help everyone there, and it ended up with me saying such horrible things to you,” she said softly. Mai couldn't keep herself from trembling as she remembered everything that happened there. She'd almost gotten herself killed that night, and if it weren't for Bou-san saving her, she would've died in the print shop. “But worse still was that you apologised first even though I wanted to apologise to you!”

Mai glared at Naru but it soon fell apart when a brief smile flashed across her features. “You even protected me when the ceiling fell in there, although it was your lack of judgment that got me chased by those spirits in the first place,” she said as she stuck her tongue out at him slightly.

Her expression soon clouded over, and she looked away again. She took a deep breath but didn't say anything as she considered what happened during the next case. Naru's possession, the many dreams she'd had... the many deaths that happened there. Then after Naru woke up... “Then there was the Noto peninsula. Everyone did their best trying to do what they could for your stupid pride out there,” she said quietly, “and when that wasn't enough, I provoked you into using your PK. ...And you almost died for it.”

Mai's expression was carefully blank as she quietly recounted her own memories and views of what happened. “But when you woke up from that, the first thing you did was apologise to Bou-san and the others.”

Mai frowned as she remembered her conversation with Masako after Naru regained consciousness in the hospital. Both of them felt the same way; they could've given up on Naru if not for that apology. Just when they thought he'd finally done something that they could give up on him over, he did something to redeem himself... although she hadn't been very happy about Naru asking Masako to ride in the van with him and Lin after he finally checked himself out of the hospital.

“I think it was the case by the lake though, that really got me confused. You were pushing all of us away so much there, and you wouldn't explain anything about what was happening or why you'd be closing the office permanently, or anything. Masako had to tell me to stay there regardless of what you'd said, or I'd regret leaving and that I'd probably never see you again. So many things happened, but when there was only you and me left in the school house and everyone else'd disappeared, you still managed to figure out what was going on. You were such a stick-in-the-mud, but you held my hand and helped me. And when we ended up getting separated before you could put me in a trance... Actually, if it hadn't been for Gene pulling me out of my body and teaching me things then, I wouldn't be so – sort of – useful to you now. But at the same time, it was his showing up then that really made me get the two of you mixed up. It was his comment about always pulling me out of my body that made me think he was you and that you really were visiting me in my dreams.”

Mai shook her head. “So when I learned that the two of you really were different people...” Her voice trailed off. She thought of her apartment and the small photo stand she kept by her bed. Naru had given it to her before returning to England for the first time since coming to Japan. In it was a small photo – of Naru and Gene. Naru was wearing something other than black, so it looked like there were two Genes in the photo. She loved that photo, and she remembered how she felt when Naru gave it to her.

Mai smiled faintly as she finally looked back up at Naru. His eyes were dark and unreadable, much as always, but there was the faintest hint of uncertainty and surprise, and Mai realised that she had read him right. Naru had expected her to choose Gene and not think twice about everything else that had happened... or about who she really loved.

“When I first told you about how I felt, it was by the lake in the moonlight. The insects were singing, and you couldn't ask for a better setting for being with the guy you liked.”

Mai got a slightly pained look in her eyes. “Of course, you then proceeded to rip my heart to shreds,” she said quietly, “and the moonlight wasn't quite so meaningful then. But despite everything, you stayed with me and even cheered me up a bit after all of that. So, this time, I get to tell you much the same thing again, only without being confused about the 'who' I'm saying it to, and there's absolutely no atmosphere to this place.”

Mai hesitated slightly as her smile slipped hinting ever so slightly of the vulnerability she was trying so hard to hide. Naru hadn't moved since he'd first cornered her. Mai vaguely recalled that he'd cornered her much in the same manner when he made her confess about her dreams. But when he opened his mouth to reply, Mai covered his mouth suddenly with her hands.

He paused and gazed at her steadily, but she soon looked away. He could feel that she was trembling, but before he could take her hands away in order to speak, Mai looked up again and smiled shakily.

“Let me guess, you want tea, right?” she asked.

Naru frowned. He could see she was trying to escape, but he wasn't so nice as to let her have her say and then run away from the consequences. And given his proximity, she had no means of escape. His eyes narrowed slightly as he considered the slim girl before him. He might be a stick-in-the-mud scientist, but that didn't mean he was completely blind to everything around him either.

“I should also tell you that I don't expect an answer from you right now,” Mai added.

Naru continued to stare at her; Mai could feel his mood dropping as his annoyance grew, but she ignored it.

Mai glared slightly at Naru. “I'll have you know, I had no intention of telling you how I feel, so I have absolutely no intention of listening to your reply right now,” she said. She tried to smile impishly but failed.

Naru grasped her wrists firmly finally forcing her hands away from his mouth.

“Mai...” he started to speak but paused when she shook her head.

Mai looked at Naru. “I told you, I didn't intend to say any of this yet. I didn't even finish putting my own thoughts in order, so the least you can do is give me a little more time,” she said faintly. Mai finally managed a slight smile. “Besides, you didn't expect me to say this, did you? So, you could at least think about it, even if only for a moment.”

Naru sighed. Whether it was sooner or later, he already knew his answer. Perhaps Mai didn't realise it, but he was still holding her wrists, so regardless of how much she tried to hide her feelings, he could feel it through her own body – she was still shaking.

“How much time do you expect it to take for me to consider something for 'only a moment', Taniyama-san?” he asked raising an eyebrow slightly. “Who do you think I am?”

“! The one and only world's greatest paranormal researcher who has no peer and no equal. There's no one better looking and no one as intelligent,” she answered baldly. Annoyance crept into her tone as she answered his question.

A hint of amusement crept into Naru's eyes at the disdain in her voice, and his cynical smile played about his lips.

“But you're also the same idiot scientist who apologises to walls after walking into them, and despite all that vaunted intelligence, can't be bothered to notice the world around him and is therefore about as clueless as they come,” Mai added.

Naru glared at her slightly. “Given your current situation, I'd say that's a rather bold attitude to take.”

“Hmph. You're too much of a stick-in-the... !!”

Mai froze. Her mind refused to process what just happened.

Naru finally let go of her wrists, but she didn't even notice. Mai couldn't take her eyes off the dark amusement lurking in Naru's eyes. There was no doubt; he was smiling. But she'd never seen him smile like that before.

“I haven't 'told' you my reply yet,” Naru said as his lips twitched with his dark smile, “so I'm looking forward to when you're ready to 'hear' it.”

Naru chuckled softly. “Oh, and I believe I'll make my own tea today,” he said as he left for the kitchenette.

Mai's knees gave beneath her as she sank to the floor speechless.


Omake:

Outside the office, peering into the office as they cracked open the door, were Lin, Yasuhara, and all the Irregulars. Lin held a firm hand over Bou-san's mouth keeping the monk silent, restraining him from barging into the office, while Ayako kept a stern eye on Masako.

“Perhaps we should go to the cafe downstairs,” John suggested hesitantly. “I think Mai-san might need some time to herself right now.”

Ayako cocked her head to one side. “You're right, John. Let's go. Lin-san, make sure you keep a firm grip on that deviant monk,” she said quietly. “Come on, Masako. I'll treat you to a nice matcha parfait.”

Masako sighed. “A matcha parfait, some zenzai, and maybe even some warabi mochi,” the girl said. Her usual slightly haughty attitude was nowhere to be seen at the moment.

Ayako chuckled. “Okay.”

Ayako pat the girl on her shoulder and led the kimono-clad girl towards the escalators. John followed the two as Lin and Yasuhara brought up the rear forcing a struggling Bou-san away from the office.

'Mai~!!' Bou-san cried mentally. Lin's hand ensured that absolutely no sound escaped the hapless monk as he was unceremoniously dragged away.


*flees*
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