This whole thing was a hoot and a half. What I really liked about it when I look at it objectively from a writing standpoint is that Mai's & Masako's strange behavior didn't rely on supernatural possession but was the result of psychological stress. In stories like GH, it's an easy story-telling crutch to explain strange behavior on possession. You found a much more original idea. Good going!
While I waited for LJ to finish load the reply form, my eyes landed on this paragraph: Naru took a very deep breath and held it as he mentally began contemplating the pros and cons of confining, firing, or possibly even murdering his employee. However, even if Naru did get away with murdering the girl, he currently didn't have any claim to Mai's body, so he wouldn't be able to dissect it. Also, it would be difficult even for him to ensure that her body remained usable for such research after meeting a sudden demise while also maintaining his own innocence. He eventually decided against any of those plans and slowly exhaled. So very, very Naru. I started laughing all over again as I reread it. Only Naru would put off murder because he was concerned the body would be damaged beyond the conditions needed for a good scientific autopsy.
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Date: 2008-01-06 06:38 pm (UTC)While I waited for LJ to finish load the reply form, my eyes landed on this paragraph:
Naru took a very deep breath and held it as he mentally began contemplating the pros and cons of confining, firing, or possibly even murdering his employee. However, even if Naru did get away with murdering the girl, he currently didn't have any claim to Mai's body, so he wouldn't be able to dissect it. Also, it would be difficult even for him to ensure that her body remained usable for such research after meeting a sudden demise while also maintaining his own innocence. He eventually decided against any of those plans and slowly exhaled.
So very, very Naru. I started laughing all over again as I reread it. Only Naru would put off murder because he was concerned the body would be damaged beyond the conditions needed for a good scientific autopsy.
This was fun. :D